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November 28, 2006
My mother jumps to conclusions
I love how I can always startle my mother into speaking English. Reminder: Korean in italics.
Mom: Are you enjoying work?
Me: Well. (meaning "not yes" but "not no.")
Mom: What's wrong?
Me: I don't know.
Mom: WHAT? Bu... But you only have been working three months!
Me: Yeah, I know.
Mom: And you quit that other job after three months before too! What's going on? What are you doing?
Me: I don't know. I'll figure it out. Don't worry about it.
Mom: Why can't you just settle for something? Nobody is going to hire you anymore... You keep moving everywhere.
Me: Maybe I'll move out of Oregon.
Mom: Really? Where you going?
Me: I don't know. I'll figure it out. Don't worry.
Mom: Every time is a new surprise... How are you going to surprise me again?
That got me thinking... What other ways could I surprise my mother? On the way to work, for the past week, I've compiled a short list. Feel free to add to it.
1. Get a Mohawk, become an apprentice at my local tattoo parlor.
2. Perhaps shave my entire head, become a Marine.
3. Spend next 50 years becoming world record holder for Longest Fingernails.
4. Get paid to be a gay couple's commercial surrogate mother.
5. Become a roadie!
6. Start not-so-lucrative career as a personal assistant to the rich, beautiful, and famous.
Posted by Stacy on November 28, 2006 02:51 PM | Filed In: Family
Comments
7. Marry Prince William and never have to work again.
Posted by Geo at November 28, 2006 03:18 PM
8. Star in an erotic thriller that inexplicably becomes a blockbuster.
Posted by Alan at November 28, 2006 03:44 PM
Become a Dramatization Actor... like those people that would fake-collapse or fake-burn or fake-get-hit-by-a-car in the 1989 smash-hit TV series "Rescue 911!"
Posted by Jeff at November 28, 2006 04:42 PM
I would like to point out that I actually found a professional Dramatization Actor. Meet Holly Vowell.
Posted by Jeff at November 28, 2006 04:46 PM
I caught a glimpse of the end of this post title in my RSS feeds, and read "jumps to conclusions".... which lead to "the jump to conclusions mat" on Office Space. Granted this comment doesn't help you add to your list, but hey, it's a comment :)
Posted by Thomas at November 28, 2006 08:39 PM
get pregnant!!!
Posted by Stork at November 29, 2006 08:18 PM
Rob a bank!
Posted by Thomas at December 1, 2006 12:24 AM
Declare that your dad was always right and move to be closer to him.
Introduce her to your new boyfriend, the starting center for the Trailblazers.
Or move to MA.
Posted by Ken at December 1, 2006 09:21 AM
Two words... Adult Films.
Posted by Jon at December 3, 2006 08:16 AM
I completely relate! :)
Posted by Amor at December 5, 2006 09:41 AM
OH, the possibilities are endless! :P
Posted by suki at December 9, 2006 03:48 PM
